Three Reasons The Easter Bunny Shouldn’t Be Your MarketerApr 10th, 2009 | By John Quarto-vonTivadar | Category: Featured, Headline, Marketing
Well, it’s the Friday before Easter and everywhere you look there’s the Easter Bunny. Despite the great press coverage, there are three excellentreasons why the Easter Bunny should not be your marketer:
Reason #1: The Easter Bunny hides his products. I mean seriously, this is Bad Marketing Commandment Numero Uno, “Hinder Thy Customers From Finding Thy Products”. Now think about this: Senor Bunny has these colored eggs — (the plastic ones have candy inside, in case you grew up in a Easter-Bunny-Free-Zone) — and his merchandising goes to great lengths to hide these eggs from you. Not only is this bad marketing, it’s a stupid technique for the product itself: hide something you just finished painting in pastel colors?
Reason #2: The Easter Bunny provides a product that is unethical. The Evil Rabbit promotes addiction and ill health, by giving kids candy and eggs (hmm, so maybe The Bunny is a secret marketer for the World Dentistry Council and drug conglomerates peddling cholesterol-lowering meds?). Nevertheless, everyone knows candy rots your teeth, and Aubergine Dye #2 is carcinogenic. And when the kids are too old for candy, I bet Mr. Bunny stays “kewl” by slipping them a few smokes. Any marketer that preys on unsuspecting kids and teens ought to be fired on the spot.
Reason #3: The Easter Bunny’s market share is based on incompetence, of his competitors. I mean, let’s face it: the only nearby competitors in the calendar are a Ground Hog (too shy) and St.Patrick (too hungover). Even with a merger, they’d still just be a drunk guy in a green suit with a clover-eating pet rodent. Not the sort of marketing image that sells. The Easter Bunny is only doing well because he showed up, and looks cute. Now, while it’s true that success is often achieved by those who simply show up, a recession is the best time to grab market share from complacent competitors. Just imagine the run Mr. Bunny would get for his money if you put him up against some real competition, like a Turkey serving Pumpkin Pie and Football, or the commerce god himself, The Fat Man in the Red Suit.
And that’s why this Sunday I shall enjoy not a traditional Ham but rather Easter Hassenpfeffer.
[If you're looking for two quick Easter-Bunny themed laughs, check out Doug Savage's cartoons at: http://www.savagechickens.com/2007/04/easter-egg-hunt.html and http://www.savagechickens.com/2008/03/easter.html . The latter just cracked me up. The former I had think for a bit before I got the reference (hint: famous horror movie)]
[Extra thanks to whoever the author is of the funny cartoon at the top of the post.I don't recognize the signature, although the style looks familiar. So if you know who this is, please let me know!]